Dulcissime

I went to faire this weekend! I also drank all the wine. All of it.

See this? This is my drunk face:



So much wine, in fact, that when one of the Mediaeval Baebes remarked that she had seen me singing along in the crowd (or rather, mouthing the words under my breath-- competing with a performer is just rude), my response was "yes, I am a giant nerd." Awkward, thy name is Christina.

But it was a good day! Jason and I showed twelvepetals & her wife Jen around, saw the Barely Balanced acrobats (who were absolutely phenomenal), took in thatliardiego's magic show, caught some Cu Dubh bagpipes & drums, saw the Baebes twice, stood in some hellacious lines, and ate lots of things. My purchase of the day was a 2013 faire mug (which I immediately regretted because of course, 10 mins later I saw a GORGEOUS mug but could no longer justify the purchase) and a hip strap for it. And the new "The Huntress" Baebes double album, which features some of the most complex harmonies they've ever done. I am pretty impressed with it, and so far my favorite tracks are "She Moved Through The Fayre" and "Clasp Of A Lion / Phantom" with a special appreciation for the difficulty involved to sing "Dianae."

The last Baebes show also featured a little girl in the crowd who took the platitude to heart and truly danced like no one was watching. My god, my ovaries.

For the final Cu Dubh / Wolgemut show at the Boar's Head, the bands were encouraging dancers to dance, so lapinetrose & I threw down some ATS and people lost their minds. It's always cool to see faces when they realize that no, it's actually improv. And it's fun! Side note: I only saw one of the dancers Cu Dubh brought with them (Elizabeth) perform, and she was lovely. She also helped to confirm my suspicion that if you have an actual professional on the stage, the number of those attention-starved and under-clad ladies who watched a Shakira video and now think they're actual bellydancers decreases by an appreciable amount.

I did end up making the costuming work. The red and purple together was a little odd, but I think worked really well in person, and as a bonus, the velvet kept me sufficiently warm. I would still like to get a violet Ghawazee coat next year, though.

( Clickee for two more pictures. )

These pictures were taken by twelvepetals / Vasilion Photography.

Now, to get my tush back to work. I had completely forgotten that I'm filling in more days than usual at Terra Firma this week, so I have fewer days than projected to finish up the update!

...and not just because I love Christina Ricci.

Yesterday, J & I ventured to the Maryland Renaissance Festival, as I always do on my birthday weekend. I had two things in mind: shopping an dancing. And shop I did! I got lots of spices at Herbalist's Delight, as well as some Gingerbread Man tea. I picked up more of our favorite massage oil at Blessed Scents. I also ate decadently, which means today I still have a food baby goin' on. (New find: Scotch Eggs. YUM. Also, I want to write an ode to the cinnamon roasted nuts.) We took in some new-to-us shows. Fight School was fun; The Duelists were pretty much a 30 minute dick joke with some added gay jokes tossed in and I wish we would have skipped them. Aside from bumping into friends old and new (it was good to see you, hilandercs!) I also met up with marinatempest and her hubbins, as well as Miss kazoogrrl, one of my favorite dance girlfriends. The result was fun dancing shenanigans during the Rogues' last show at the Dragon.



( Thar be peektures. )

There are also vids-- I laughed because in one, Jason is trying to explain to one incredulous bystander that all the dancing here is entirely improv. In his words, she was all "dude, there is no way that's not choreographed!" Ahh, the magic of ATS.

( Cut for two more. )

Lastly: I haz candy corn. Or rather, Brach's autumn mix, which has candy corn, Indian corn (basically, chocolate candy corn), and also those yummy caramel pumpkins. YESSSSS.

Virgo::

No more rotten dessert, Virgo. No more silky danger or juicy poison. No more worthless treasures or empty successes or idiotic brilliance. Soon all those crazy-making experiences will be gone, blasted, dead. By this time next week, the bad influences that were trying to pass themselves off as good influences will have fallen away in response to your courageous drive for authenticity. You will be primed to restore your innocence and play in places where purity is the rule, not the exception. Already, the wisdom of your wild heart is regenerating, giving you the strength to overthrow the sour, life-hating influences that were threatening to smother your spirit.
marinatempest and I have been getting back in the swing of things with rehearsals for the last month. It feels so good to be moving again, and I can't wait until there's a good improv-based tribal class in Baltimore that's accessible to me. I need the experience of group dancing on a regular basis-- it keeps me focused, it keeps me honest. Because I hadn't been doing a whole lot of leading while I was out in ABQ, my leading skillz got a little rusty, and I've been working on cueing and making my transitions more smooth (esp. since I hadn't been performing a whole lot of my Verve vocabulary and was all "oh crap, how do I cue that one again?"). But overall, things are good, and we've talked about maybe doing some performing after I'm done with wedding madness. That'll be nice, and I also like having a good long time to get back in synch so I don't look sloppy.

Anyhow, after tiring of much of the current fusion on the scene, I think I am finally buckling to go the mostly-ATS route. Or ITS, as it's being called. Traditional-- a shared language. I was a total magpie coming into bellydance, where everything was just so SHINY and NEAT, and now, a few years later, I want something grounded and earthy and you know, more tribal, less schtick. I am putting all the Fat Chance DVDs on my wishlist for after-Wedding funds, and I really want to do General Skills next year. Like, you guys. I'm even starting to like Helm. What is up with that? That's the direction I'm heading-- so I guess Uncle Rob is right up there. I am yearning for more authenticity.

After rehearsal today, we're having a costuming and munchies evening. I have a bra to decorate-- I'm taking all the decor off my old black bra and putting it onto the new bra-base I brought from Tadasana-- with the comfortable criss-cross back straps, so no more achy neck! I'm also going to play with fun new combos of color, since I've added a saffron-colored jaipur skirt to my wardrobe and can expect my red choli from L. Rose Designs any day now. I think I'm going really bright for the wedding itself. Reds and yellows and oranges-- a distinct departure from my standard black and burgundy Faire outfit or the olive greens I like to wear.

Speaking of Faire, I'm going on opening day. I'm excited like a kid before Christmas. I just did a rundown to see what I can do with my newly-short hair (grumble grumble) and am going through all of my shinies. God, I love faire. Lots and lots and lots. I'm practically bouncy. What's the 411 on CDD? I want to hug people! I want to dance to bagpipes. I want to listen to Baebes. I want to eat various foods on sticks! Granted, opening weekend is BOUND to be hot and sticky omg, but I would not miss it for all the world. I only wish I were rich so I could go every weekend. Alas, I am poor, and with the wedding coming up, I'll be lucky to go twice before the wedding on the 17th of October, where I'll be in bride-mode and not up for general carousing. So God, if you see fit to send me a windfall that's not ill-gotten anytime soon, I'd so appreciate it. Love, Christina

Faeriecon pics taken with my old camera, and faire pics taken with the new. Please don't judge the camera just yet... I haven't quite figured out the settings and such just yet! I wasn't terribly diligent about taking pictures at either event; this year I decided to put the camera down and have more fun.

( Faeriecon2008 )

Maryland Renaissance Festival, Oct. 18, 2008


The Mediaeval Baebes!
L-R: Emily, Bev Lee, Claire, Esther, Melpomeni, Katherine

( More Baebes. )

( More faire pics. )

( Bonus pic. )

Still not really back. Still working a lot of things out. Still have a lot of things on my mind and I'll talk about them when I'm ready. Will likely not be posting a lot, but figured I'd do a week-in-review as this is still my journal, and without that outlet, I get itchy.

( Week in review. )

Hiatus/Headspace: I took a break from the internet because I was on the verge of saying a lot of things I didn't want around for posterity. I live a fairly public life; for the most part, this has had very little negativity attached to it. A couple of quickly-solved kerfluffles, a few unreasonably vicious anonymous comments. Nothing that has come close to outweighing the positive aspects of keeping this journal mostly public. I used to journal almost exclusively in hardcopy, but when I went away to college, I started a blog as a way of keeping in touch with people without having to write the same emails all the time. Somehow, it morphed into my own personal corner of the web, the place where I recorded my own life mostly for my own recollection. But LJ is also an awesome community tool, and I have met several people through it that I would not have met otherwise. It lets me keep in touch with people I care about and read about interesting goings on.

Unfortunately, it has also heightened my awareness that being open means that others often feel entitled to comment on my life, give me unasked-for advice, and be critical in ways they probably wouldn't necessarily be in person. When you're talking to a computer screen, you're not talking to someone's face, and that simple gap often means a bit less sensitivity than is warranted (and I'm guilty of this myself, at times). Of course, this can also bleed over into Real Life, and when I was getting little jabs there as well, I needed a serious time-out from people. It was all small, relatively minor stuff that was easily taken care of individually-- but all at once in such a short period of time, I had simply reached my patience and diplomacy limit and had to put myself into time-out. I am still not done with time out. I have been biting my tongue on several things because I don't trust myself to address them with anything approaching polite courtesy just yet.

So I spent a few days by myself, being a little bit emo. Not answering emails, not really taking calls, just being alone and figuring out what I wanted. And then I got angry. To paraphrase a vitriolic post that I quickly made private, I think I'm fine as-is. I'm a kind person. I'm a considerate person. I'm a friendly, social person. I'm a dedicated person. But I am not without flaws-- I am occasionally forgetful, many find my humor too brash, I occasionally get absorbed in my own life, my tone gets short when I'm irritated, and my forthrightness could stand to be tempered with a little more consideration at times. But, y'know, let he without those sins throw the first stone. I work on my flaws when I can, but also keep in mind when a jab is just someone else being peevish and thoughtless. It's hard for me, though-- I come from an upbringing where I was told I was never good enough, and so I tend to give insensitive comments more weight than they're necessarily worth. My skin is not always as thick as I would like it to be. In other words, I think I'm pretty normal. I like me. And if I'm not your particular acquired taste-- if you think I talk too much, or talk to little, or talk too roughly, or talk too eloquently-- please feel free to dine elsewhere. I'm finally to the point where I really like who I am, and I'm at home with my own standards for myself. I realize that I can't be anyone else's ideal, and the only ideal worth attempting is my own. I'm done with changing to suit other peoples' sensibilities, and yes, that includes you. I don't need or desire your validation, good-intentioned though it may be. Along those lines, nothing will ever be enough for some, and I don't need your sermons or pointed lectures. Keep 'em up, and I'll hand you a pack of nails and directions to Calvary. I'm aware that I may lose friends and acquaintances over this, and I accept it. But I gotta do it, so I am.

I also spent some time thinking about friends. Specifically that I have a lot of friends and acquaintances; I am immensely lucky and grateful in this regard. I know a lot of cool people who do a lot of cool and unique things, and I'm proud to count them among people I know and am on friendly terms with. I also have a small core group of friends with whom I could trust my life-- they screw my head on straight when it's a bit lopsided, they give the best hugs in the world, they babysit my sick ass when I'm deadly ill. They see me at my best and at my worst. And I've been thinking about time spent with friends; I am spread too thinly right now. Some friendships are not as strong as they once were, and that's one of the reasons. Others I have tried to keep the lifeline afloat-- there are people I haven't seen in a year that I try to extend invitations to that never seem to work out for one reason or another. And there comes a point where the line has to be let go. So I am-- that energy can certainly be best used elsewhere, strengthening relationships with those who seem to want them. If there comes a time in the future where the energy and desire is there, they can always be rekindled. Also, I am setting new boundaries in other friendships that I think will be more healthy for me.

Anyhow, that's how I am. Low on social energy, and I'll be taking the time for myself as long as I need to. That's about it.